Dear Gabby,
I’m 13, and I live alone with my mama. Daddy left two years ago, and she got full custody. Now I find more and more that I’m getting really irritable, and sometimes I yell at mama. It is usually just little things that make me mad, but I’ve been getting so angry at her lately that sometimes I think I’m going to throw something or hit her. I love my mama and I don’t want to hurt her, but she just gets me so mad sometimes. I am turning into an abuser and I don’t know what to do about it.
AngryGirl13
Dear AngryGirl13,
Your hormone levels could be changing, which would account for your increased irritability and impaired judgment. This happens to all boys and girls around your age, and it is different from person to person. With time, your body will adjust, and you will “mellow with age,” as they say.
In the meantime, I am glad to see you have the maturity to admit you have a problem. This is half the battle. The other half is to find the source of your anger. Otherwise you will continue to scapegoat your mother, and you will hate yourself for it. Try to think about the source of your anger, and either eradicate that, or if the anger is coming from your mother, you should find some more productive and less explosive ways of expressing your anger. You may want to see a therapist for a session or two, so he/she can get into the specifics of what’s bothering you, and help you sort through it.
